sims gill why mummy s sloshed
Sims Gill Why Mummy's Sloshed
No.1 bestselling author Gill Sims is back with her eagerly awaited fourth and final Why Mummy novel. I just wanted them to stop wittering at me, eat vegetables without complaining, let me go to the loo in peace and learn to make a decent gin and tonic. Mummy has been a wife and mother for so long that she’s a little bit lost. And despite her best efforts, her precious moppets still don’t know the location of the laundry basket, the difference between being bored and being hungry, or that saying ‘I can’t find it Mummy’ is not the same as actually looking for it! Amidst the chaos of A-Levels and driving tests, she’s doing her best to keep her family afloat, even if everybody is set on drifting off in different directions, and that one of those directions is to make yet another bloody snack. She’s feeling overwhelmed and under appreciated, and the only thing that Mummy knows for sure is that the bigger the kids, the bigger the drink.
1005 Руб.
Sims Gill Why Mummy Drinks
Tuesday 8th September First day back at school. I am going to 100% nail being a school mummy this year. I can totally do this. Yes, this year is definitely going to be much better - I am absolutely not going to shout at the children, let them stuff their faces with crisps or goggle away on the iPad. And I most certainly will not slump on the sofa at the end of the day, glugging wine and muttering 'FML' repeatedly. Unfortunately I have not yet actually managed to buy the bento boxes for their lunches or book jiu jitsu lessons, and I will have to learn to like green tea, as it is foul, and I have not yet mastered French plaits, but I am quietly confident that these are mere details in my grand master plan… It is Mummy's 39th birthday. She is staring down the barrel of a future of people asking if she wants to come to their advanced yoga classes, and polite book clubs where everyone claims to be tiddly after a glass of Pinot Grigio and says things like 'Oooh gosh, are you having another glass?' But Mummy does not want to go quietly into that good night of women with sensible haircuts who 'live for their children' and stand in the playground trying to trump each other with their offspring's extracurricular activities and achievements, and boasting about their latest holidays. Instead, she clutches a large glass of wine, muttering 'FML' over and over again. Until she remembers the gem of an idea she's had…
1488 Руб.
Sims Gill Why Mummy Swears
The hilarious second novel, and Sunday Times No 1 Bestseller, from author of the smash hit Why Mummy Drinks. Monday, 25 July The first day of the holidays. I suppose it could've been worse. I brightly announced that perhaps it might be a lovely idea to go to a stately home and learn about some history. As soon as we got there I remembered why I don't use the flipping National Trust membership - because National Trust properties are full of very precious and breakable items, and very precious and breakable items don't really mix with children, especially not small boys. Where I had envisaged childish faces glowing with wonder as they took in the treasures of our nation's illustrious past, we instead had me shouting `Don't touch, DON'T TOUCH, FFS DON'T TOUCH!" while stoutly shod pensioners tutted disapprovingly and drafted angry letters to the Daily Mail in their heads. How many more days of the holiday are there? Welcome to Mummy's world... The Boy Child Peter is connected to his iPad by an umbilical cord, The Girl Child Jane is desperate to make her fortune as an Instagram lifestyle influencer, while Daddy is constantly off on exotic business trips... Mummy's marriage is feeling the strain, her kids are running wild and the house is steadily developing a forest of mould. Only Judgy, the Proud and Noble Terrier, remains loyal as always. Mummy has also found herself a new challenge, working for a hot new tech start-up. But not only is she worrying if, at forty-two, she could actually get up off a bean bag with dignity, she's also somehow (accidentally) rebranded herself as a single party girl who works hard, plays hard and doesn't have to run out when the nanny calls in sick. Can Mummy keep up the facade while keeping her family afloat? Can she really get away with wearing `comfy trousers' to work? And, more importantly, can she find the time to pour herself a large G+T? Probably effing not.
850 Руб.
Sims Gill Why Mummy Doesn't Give a ****!
Family begins with a capital eff. I'm wondering how many more f*cking 'phases' I have to endure before my children become civilised and functioning members of society? It seems like people have been telling me 'it's just a phase!' for the last fifteen bloody years. Not sleeping through the night is 'just a phase.' Potty training and the associated accidents 'is just a phase'. The tantrums of the terrible twos are 'just a phase'. The picky eating, the back chat, the obsessions. The toddler refusals to nap, the teenage inability to leave their beds before 1pm without a rocket being put up their arse. The endless singing of Frozen songs, the dabbing, the weeks where apparently making them wear pants was akin to child torture. All 'just phases!' When do the 'phases' end though? WHEN? Mummy dreams of a quirky rural cottage with roses around the door and chatty chickens in the garden. Life, as ever, is not going quite as she planned. Paxo, Oxo and Bisto turn out to be highly rambunctious, rather than merely chatty, and the roses have jaggy thorns. Her precious moppets are now giant teenagers, and instead of wittering at her about who would win in a fight - a dragon badger or a ninja horse - they are Snapchatting the night away, stropping around the tiny cottage and communicating mainly in grunts - except when they are demanding Ellen provides taxi services in the small hours. And there is never, but never, any milk in the house. At least the one thing they can all agree on is that rescued Barry the Wolfdog may indeed be The Ugliest Dog in the World, but he is also the loveliest.
1005 Руб.
My Mummy
Celebrate mummies with this adorable book brought to you by Peppa Pig and her little brother, George! This delightful story shows the many reasons why Peppa and George love their mummy, from her comforting cuddles to her fierce firefighting. The perfect present for Mummy Pigs everywhere!
694 Руб.
Howarth Daniel Why I Love My Mummy
Featuring children's own words and heart-warming pictures, this book can be given by boys or girls to their mummy on mothers' day. Or at any time! `I love my mummy because... ` Everyone's mummy is the best. And who better to tell the world than children themselves? This charming book combines endearing things said by children about their mothers with gentle illustrations of familiar animals. With beautiful pictures and charming words from children, all about mummies, this is the perfect book to share with Mum!
2015 Руб.
Кроссовки Jordan Why Not Zer0.2 Mummy, кремовый
ХарактеристикиБренд: Air JordanЦвет: кремовый
21510 Руб.
Sims Gill The Saturday Night Sauvignon Sisterhood
It's time for a w(h)ine 'Oh, for f*ck's sake' muttered Claire under her breath, as she opened the fridge to see what she could find for a no effort dinner. The children continued to fight behind her. They regarded any form of fish not encased in breadcrumbs as toxic, and were resistant enough to the delicious homemade fishfingers Claire had made for them, insisting they much preferred Captain Birdseye's version. White wine was starting to look like quite an appealing dinner actually. Maybe just a small glass. 'Are you having wine, Mum? You know you're not supposed to have wine every night. We did about alcohol units at school. That's quite a big glass of wine, how many units do you think are in it?' 'Bet the bastards didn't tell you that wine is remarkably good at cancelling out whining though, did they?' muttered Claire. Claire's family has gone nuclear. Her precious moppets keep calling Childline when she feeds them broccoli, she's utterly Ottolenghied out at weekends, and her darling husband is having an affair with her best friend. The question isn't whether she needs a glass of wine, but is there one big enough? Enter the Sauvignon Sisterhood, a new set of friends brought together by a shared love of liquid therapy. Together they might just be able to convince Claire that, like a good bottle of red, life really can get better with age. Or at least there's more to it than the joy of an M&S non-iron school uniform.
2622 Руб.
Heapy Teresa The Wonder Tree
"Mummy!… shrieked Little Owl. "Look! The leaves are all falling!… As Little Owl's mummy reassures him that his tree isn't about to fall down, he learns all about why trees are the perfect homes for animals. Great for fans of Owl Babies, The Owl Who Was Afraid of the Dark and Can't You Sleep, Little Bear? Debut illustrator Izzy Burton breathes a welcome burst of originality into the picture book market. Toddlers and pre-schoolers will be delighted by her little owls and they'll love Teresa Heapy's reassuring text.
1411 Руб.
Кроссовки Air Jordan Jordan Why Not Zer0.2 'Mummy', кремовый
JordanWhy Not Zer0.2 получили игривую обновленную версию Nike от Nike с тематикой «Мумия». Выпущенные в октябре 2019 года кроссовки имеют изображение повязки вдоль верха, детали из парусины и ярко-зеленую строчку. Прозрачная седловина в средней части...
23095 Руб.
Dodd Emma Happy
A heart-melting animal story from Emma Dodd. Little owl loves playing games, trying new things and singing, but what makes little owl happiest of all? Why, when he cuddles close with his mummy and whispers, "I love you". Featuring a tenderly-told rhyming text and heartwarming illustrations. Exploring the loving relationship between animal parents and their babies, this beautifully-designed board book makes the perfect gift and will soon become a bedtime favourite.
1402 Руб.
Peppa Pig. My Mummy and Me
Mummy Pig is Super Mummy! Peppa and George love doing everything with their mummy. Racing on their scooters, making craft projects, dressing up and having fun together at soft play. Peppa's mummy can do ANYTHING. The perfect present for Mummy Pigs and little readers everywhere! A wonderful read for a snuggly bedtime story, this book will make the whole family smile!
694 Руб.
My Mummy and Me. Board book. Peppa Pig
Mummy Pig is Super Mummy!Peppa and George love doing everything with their mummy. Racing on their scooters, making craft projects, dressing up and having fun together at soft play. Peppa's mummy can do ANYTHING.The perfect present for Mummy Pigs and little readers everywhere! A wonderful read for a snuggly bedtime story, this book make the whole family smile!
1076 Руб.
The Dragon Painter
Chang is the best painter in all of China, so it's Chang the Emperor sends for when his new temple needs painting. But why is Chang painting dragons without any eyes? Is it true, as he claims, that if you add eyes, painted dragons come to life? This delightful retelling has sweet, simple text and gorgeous illustrations, with plenty for children to spot as Chang paints his surprising dragons. Retold by Lesley Sims.
593 Руб.
Arbuthnott Gill A Beginner's Guide to the Periodic Table
A Beginners Guide to the Periodic Table is a mind-blowing guide to the elements that make up the periodic table. By linking each element to a story, wacky science analogy or fascinating fact, Gill creates a unique first reference to the periodic table. From smelly sulphur and exploding hydrogen to why Stevie Wonder is blind and everything in between, Gill seamlessly explains the mind-boggling 92 elements which will make you look at the periodic table in a whole new light!??Packed full of eye-catching illustrations and fantastic explanatory diagrams, prepare to be amazed by the most wacky and informative first introductory to the periodic table ever! Packed full of eye-catching illustrations and fantastic explanatory diagrams, prepare to be amazed by the most wacky and informative first introductory to the periodic table ever!
2099 Руб.
Пищевая добавка Orzax Ocean Mummy, 2 упаковки по 30 желатиновых капсул + Пастилки Pasthill со вкусом меда и лимона
Не является лекарственным средством.Orzax Ocean Mummy 30 мягких желатиновых капсул x 2 шт. + Pasthill 1 шт. Мед и лимон 24 капли Ocean Mummy 30 мягких желатиновых капсул Ocean Mummy — это мультивитаминный продукт, разработанный для будущих мам с сод...
4130 Руб.